Our Founder’s Story
Lisa Laurian Downing, our Founder tells us her inspiring story and how she came to set up Sisters In Solutions in the hope that it will help others to find the strength to choose recovery:
“I was born in Philadelphia in 1959, raised as a Catholic and studied in Catholic school until grade 12. My family owned a summer vacation home in Ocean City, NJ, and we summered there every year. I actually learned to walk on the beaches of OC.
In 1977, I went to Marymount College in Tarrytown, NY to study pre-med because just about everyone in my family was in the medical field and it was what was expected of me. Studying and focusing on school work got more difficult for me, not knowing then that I was (dyslexic and had ADHD). I began drinking to blend in and to cover up the fear I was having. I also drank to enjoy the freedoms that I had never known before. This is where I like to say ‘I took the drink and the drink took me’.
In the summer of 1979 I took the opportunity to study in Poland at the University of Kraców to learn more about my heritage. My maiden name is Gutowicz. I was very moved with all the World War II history, architecture, the arts and beauty. The Polish culture I was immersed in was one of heavy drinking, and it was very difficult to say no, when everyone else in my circles drank heavily. I received an A at the end of the summer course in drinking Vodka!!! At the end of that summer I returned to the states, attended and graduated from Sarah Lawrence College in Bronxville, NY.
I studied the arts, and regular trips to NYC introduced me to a whole new life, where I could express my feelings. I became immersed in the creative, party atmosphere of the Lower East Village. It was the time of Studio 54 and The Mudd Club and drinking was a big part of the party scene.
By 1983, my party was over. I made the decision to check myself into The Charter Hospital at The Fairmount Institute outside Philadelphia. Naively I remember thinking that it was going to be like a spa or something off of Dynasty (the TV show). It was a lockdown centre based on the principles of The AA. It was tough, but I was forced to be honest with myself, and thankfully I was able to stay the course. I stayed at The Fairmount Institute for almost fifty days and I learned about my disease. I learned that I was not a bad person but in fact a sick person. I learned the our disease had three aspects; Physical, Mental and Spiritual. And I learned that there were other people just like me. Most importantly I learned that there is a solution and that those who had traveled this journey before me had found that solution as well.
On leaving the Fairmount Institute it was recommended that I go into a shared ‘sober living’ home for women. Here I shared a living space and responsibilities with other girls in the program and we would go to AA meetings together. I always remember this time vividly because we would work on renovating new homes for the sober living program. It was a very supportive environment so we could talk openly about the deeper issues behind our drinking. One of the highlights of my sober living stay were the regular holiday group luncheons and teas put on by the Ladies Main Line Group. The women who had been through the program in previous years, would come and collect the us, the young girls just starting out in the program, they would welcome us as with open arms as their guests. They wanted us to see their experience, strength and hope in action and how it had worked for them. I remember thinking that these ladies were so lovely. Their stories may have been bad but look at how they had changed their lives around for such good and now they were passing on their knowledge and importantly their message of hope by helping people. I remember thinking ‘I can do that… I want to do that!’ I was sold. That was December 1983 and In my 30 year journey to this point I have met some incredible people. It hasn’t always been easy and I certainly haven’t been a saint. But I always kept coming back.
In 1989, I drove to San Diego, California with a 5 year old daughter. I found my local women’s AA meetings so helpful. A real sense of community and fellowship amongst other young families was so supportive. Many of the promises came true. Getting involved with Serenity House in Escondido, the McDonald Centre at Scripps Hospital and the Betty Ford Centre always helped me keep things current.
How did I come to live in Monaco? In 2007 I took a Crystal cruise by myself after my mother suddenly and unexpectedly died, plus I was recovering from a very sad divorce. I was assigned the same dining table as a Michael Hurrell from Monaco. His wife of many years had recently passed away from cancer. In our singleness, we found companionship. Like in most relationships, we have had to make adjustments but it’s all working out. Michael has three daughters ages 60, 57 and 47 and I have three daughters, ages 39, 28 and 21.
In 2009 I moved to Monaco. I was fortunate to find the rooms of AA. But what I did miss was the support and friendship that I had developed over the years starting back to the Main Line in PA. So unofficially, I started Monaco SIS, which stands for (Sisters in Sobriety, the Solution, Serenity). In June 2009 I invited 10 women to lunch at the Yacht Club. That afternoon we talked, we laughed, we shared stories and no one drank. We lunched at the MCC in October the following year and every June since at the Yacht Club. In December 2013, we held an official SIS – Sisters-in-Solutions luncheon in the back room of the Automobile Club – for privacy. We had three speakers who shared their stories – how amazing to have come so far!
Life can be a tough journey and there is always something around the corner that can knock you off your feet. In February 2013, we lost my beautiful niece Jennifer to alcoholism. She had gotten treatment once but she wasn’t so lucky. She was 39, loving, funny, athletic, had an MBA and everything going for her. Her death was ruled an accidental overdose. They found her lying on her couch in Margate, NJ. Together we can help other women like Jennifer so they too can find a solution.
Lisa Laurian Hurrell
